Moving to Italy

We arrived 12 days ago, so here are 12 random notes.

1- Torino is still wonderful and exciting. We're still in the honeymoon phase of discovering new places and hidden corners.

2- I love walking to places here. Errands, groceries, just walking around. I do not miss driving one bit.

3- We got the girls' codice fiscale! Bureaucracy can be hard and frustrating, but possible with enough patience. Whatever you're trying to do, others did it before and succeeded. It's going to be OK.

4- The girls are getting used to city life; we had some interesting conversations about people we see in the street, behaviors and conditions. Definitely out of the bubble.

5- School shopping here is so different from the US; in the US it was basically a backpack. Here there are different notebooks, art supplies, ring binders, books and more.

6- School starts mid-September. The girls will have a week-long summer camp next week. It's going to be in Italian and English; I'm probably more nervous than them.

7- I still carry a lot of guilt/responsibility over my family. When they have a good time I'm elated. When something bothers them (no matter what), I feel responsibility. I know I'm not responsible, so I'm doing some self-work to handle this.

8- I ordered a cherry-tomatoes focaccia and I was able to eat it. I'm so proud of myself (for anyone who's not clear about why this is so amazing, here's some context). Here's a picture of some wonderful bread.

9- I remember scoring myself as a 2 out of 10 in Italian. I think now I'm a 3 out of 10; I usually understand short sentences from service providers and I'm able to order/pay in Italian.

10- When you don't assume everyone speaks English, you get much better chances of communicating with locals. Most people are kind in nature, so if you lead with curiosity and grace, they'll follow.

11- Living in a small apartment, especially after this huge house we had, is tough.

12- While small, our apartment is amazing and very well-equipped. Some might say it's too well-equipped, considering we have a container coming in by the end of the month. Don't tell anyone, but it will be very freeing if our shipment got lost somehow.

We arrived a few days ago. Moving across the ocean is not something that's easy to comprehend or digest. It will take a while.

Some initial feelings:

I feel liberated. I know it's a strong word, but I think it's not only describing the physical move - it's also here to describe my pride. I am doing something that is really scary and big. I'm not confined by fears and 'how' questions.

I feel guilty. I came here with my family. My kids really loved the house we had in Franklin, and now we have a much smaller apartment. They like the city, they like the food, they even like the apartment - but this is huge for them and I'm trying to strike a balance between how amazing and how hard this is.

I feel happy. In our last few months in Franklin, most of my tasks were about wrapping up. Closing out different connections we had. I felt like I was destroying and eliminating different threads that made us who we were for the last 16 years. It was sad and painful. Now, my to-do list is just as long, but it's all about starting new things, building and creating those new threads. I'm just so glad to be here.

I feel tired. It's the jetlag.

Today we left our house of 5.5 years. Its name is Kobi and it's the best house ever. It's huge, has a pool, a climbing dome, a play room, and great neighbors. My kids spent most of their lives there; this is where they grew up to be the amazing humans they are today. It was tough leaving it; lots of emotions, lots of last-time situations. I will miss this house and I know my family will miss it even more.

Yesterday we took a bunch of videos in different rooms and areas of the house, each telling their favorite memory of that spot. This was my younger kid's idea, and it's brilliant. Then, before we left the house, we wrote a joint love letter to Kobi and hid it in the house. While it was emotionally draining, I believe the goodbyes were important.

I'm sad to leave Kobi, but I am also excited.

Honestly, I feel like I'm leaving a bunker. This house was everything, so we hardly went out. We ordered groceries and shopping, the kids had their entertainment all taken care of with the pool in the summer and video games in the winter. When we wanted to see people we love, we had to wait for a weekend that would work. We were isolated. Everywhere we went, we drove.

In two days we'll fly to Italy and start a new life there. It's going to be different - tougher in a lot of aspects, but also more interesting and aligned with our values. We'll walk the kids to school, we'll walk to get some food outside. We'll see more people outside, as we won't be isolated in our box on wheels. This is good.

The last few weeks were a blur; we signed the contract on our Torino apartment, we had different 'goodbye' playdates, we had Italian lessons, I managed our change of address, I had more dental work done, we had open houses and private tours, we had the movers coming to ship most of our stuff, we had an offer accepted on Kobi, I sold my car and I sold a bunch of things on Marketplace.

I now have a minute; we're at our friends' house after a very long day of clearing Kobi and saying goodbye to it.

It's important for me to write so I can try and unblur the events that happened in the last few weeks. Also I want to be proud of getting to this point. This is so hard, and here we are. I did a lot of hard things, and I'm going to continue in Italy.

Finding a Place in Italy

Big news: We found an apartment, and it checks all of our boxes and more. Great size, amazing location (right in the center of the city, walking distance from the girls' school), within our budget and it has AC!

A bit about the search process: finding a rental from outside of Italy is tough - especially if you don't speak Italian yet.

I worked with an agent who suggested a few spots (all bad fits), so I started doing my own search and started sending her listings; she'd call the agents who posted them and connect us when relevant. Most of the apartments posted are indeed managed by agencies, which means we'll have to pay an agency fee (usually two months' rent).

Not all agencies respond, so actually getting a video tour is rare. We had only a couple, and both apartments looked great (always better than the listing photos, by the way); the first one was a bit on the smaller side, but the second one was exactly right. We're now reviewing and negotiating the rental agreement and it all looks great.

I'm very excited.

School

We're now preparing for the new school - the education system in Italy is very different from the one in the US. It sounds like it's stricter (not good) and more challenging (very good).

In the US, you don't have to shop for books and almost all supplies are provided by the school. Here we got long lists of very specific books and items to purchase prior to the school year.

Some of the books are provided for free by the local council, but the girls will need their codice fiscale (Italian tax code that also serves as a national ID number) sorted out first. We'll have to handle that once we arrive in Torino.

Decluttering

I really hate the task of decluttering; it's both hard and extremely uninteresting. I've been doing donations, Facebook Marketplace, ebay and gifting random gifts to friends and neighbors. I have an inventory spreadsheet I'm maintaining - it's not comprehensive by any means, but it does help my mental health.

We just had a call with the moving company (they'll be here on August 5th). They will be the one doing the packing and we'll just show them what stays and what should be packed. We did a video call in which I showed them everything.

I feel better now after this call, as now I have a pretty good picture of what that day will look like.

Finding a Place in Italy

Renting a place in Italy from abroad is not easy - especially since I don't have the language skills yet. I'm working with someone to make the calls on our behalf and that helps.

We have three main requirements: size, location, budget. It's not easy to find a place that checks all of our boxes, so we'll probably have to compromise on size. We're very fortunate to have friends in Torino that are happy to lend us their apartment for the first few weeks there, so I'm less stressed about that part as well.

It's time for a new language.
I'd like to replicate my younger-self English learning environment: listen to Italian as much as possible.

Here's what I'm doing:

• I have two apps I'm trying to use daily, each for a few minutes. Memrise and My Words. The former is for progression of learning with different types of lessons and ways to practice, and the latter is my personal dictionary of words.
• We found a local teacher who comes to our house once a week. His focus is conversational Italian. Just got started with him, so we'll see how it goes.
• I'm watching instructional youtube videos. My current favorites are Elisa's Italian School and Italy Made Easy.
• Italy Made Easy also have a really cool podcast series in Italian.
• I'm trying to watch movies and TV shows in Italian (shoot me a message if you have recommendations!). Disney+ has a bunch of content that is dubbed to Italian, so it's easier to watch Encanto and Bluey in Italian after dozens of times that we've watched them in English.
• Lastly, I picked up this book called Short Stories in Italian for Beginners - finishing a story can be very rewarding.

At this point, if 10 is a native Italian speaker and 0 is someone who knows nothing about Italian, I'd score myself as a 2. Hopefully I'll be able to report some progress here.

What's on mind right now:

• More decluttering (we need to stage the house soon, while living in it)
• Learning Italian
• Dealing with the guilt over moving the kids to a new, foreign country
• Realizing that now this is happening in about 3 months

I'll write more about how I learn Italian next week.

Currently, most of my day to day activites revolve around the decluttering piece. It's more emotional than I've imagined, so I'm working on separating the decision-making from the doing, and then allocating my time/energy appropriately.

Since I'm the one who led this change, I feel like my job is to be the cheerleader for all Italy-related activities. That's tough - I'm experiencing the same mixed emotions as my family does.

The move target is mid-August, 2026. There are a few moving pieces in this project:

• Financials, taxes planning
• Finding a place to live in Italy (Torino)
• Finding a school for the kids
• Decluttering, selling, donating items in the US
• Selling the house
• Phone, mailing address
• Business continuity (my coaching business)
• Learning Italian
• Saying goodbye

Each of these will have its own action items and considerations.

Figured I will start journaling the different decisions and updates around this project.

Yes, I've created a spreadsheet, and I also have a few supporting to-do lists. I'll keep updates here relatively short.

I thrive on questions and feedback, so please feel free to drop me a note.